"Research shows that most erectile issues are a secondary cause to something psychological happening," he says. "This is when it's important to find a sex therapist. A lot of sex therapy begins with myth busting. We have a lot of myths about the meaning that comes from erectile issues. Most of those myths are simply untrue. Recognizing these myths can often decrease a lot of anxiety."

As it turns out, there are actually tons of things that can keep guys from getting an erection that have nothing to do with you (also, all that stuff you learned in middle school about how all guys are hump-crazed sex lunatics might have been slightly off). Between 20 and 30 million American men experience recurring erection difficulties, and almost all men have, at one time or another, had their top ramen refuse to boil. And while erectile issues are often seen as an older man's problem, in reality, one quarter of men seeking medical treatment for erectile difficulties are under 40.

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Another clue it’s psychological: He starts going soft around the same time your commitment level has shifted. In fact, sudden ED happens so often among newlyweds—there’s the pressure of becoming a married man plus, hi, the expectation of amazing wedding-night sex, says Dr. Trost—it even has a name: honeymoon syndrome. And a study published in the journal Translational Andrology and Urology found that once a guy’s sexual confidence takes a hit, he can get anxious about it happening again, and all that pressure creates a vicious cycle of erection fixation.

A 2013 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine evaluated 439 men for erectile dysfunction and compared ED causes and frequency in men 40 or younger to men over 40. They found that 26 percent of the younger men had ED. Although these men were healthier and had higher levels of testosterone than the older men, they were more likely to be smokers or to have used illicit drugs. In almost half of the younger men with ED, the ED was considered severe.

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The penis is the male sex organ, and the shaft of it is the longest part. The glans and head are located at the end of the shaft. The opening at the tip of the head when semen and urine come out is termed the meatus. Inside the shaft are two cylinder-shaped chambers called the corpora cavernosa and they run the length of the penis. They have blood vessels, maze, open pockets, tissue, and others.
Another clue it’s psychological: He starts going soft around the same time your commitment level has shifted. In fact, sudden ED happens so often among newlyweds—there’s the pressure of becoming a married man plus, hi, the expectation of amazing wedding-night sex, says Dr. Trost—it even has a name: honeymoon syndrome. And a study published in the journal Translational Andrology and Urology found that once a guy’s sexual confidence takes a hit, he can get anxious about it happening again, and all that pressure creates a vicious cycle of erection fixation.
The answers to these questions, as well as physiological tests like an ultrasound or neurological assessment, can help determine the root cause of ED. Depending on the cause, different treatment options are available. Treatments range from medication, to hormone replacement therapy, to vascular surgery, to sex therapy and/or couples counseling. It sounds like you have ruled out many physical factors, in which case it may be useful to consider psychological factors. Often, couples counseling and/or sex therapy (as a couple or individual) can identify factors related to ED, help with communication, and improve sex for both partners. For a sex therapist, check out the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) web site and click on the "Locate a Professional" link.
Most men may not openly talk about their erection problems, but erectile dysfunction — when a man cannot achieve or maintain an erection well enough or long enough to have satisfying sex — is very common. According to the National Institutes of Health, 5 percent of 40-year-olds and 15 to 25 percent of 65-years old have ED. But while ED is more likely to occur as a man gets older, it doesn’t come automatically with age.

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Though few things are worse for your erection than a cigarette habit, coffee can actually help you out below the belt. A study by the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston found that men who consumed the caffeine equivalent of 2-3 cups of coffee per day were less likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction than those who preferred to wake up with caffeine-free beverages.

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A very stressful or intense situation, or performance anxiety, could definitely make a man lose his erection. The pressure to perform could be psychologically too intense to keep a strong one. Another, lesser talked about erection killer is difficulty penetrating a partner during sex. It’s related to performance anxiety and stress, but also fatigue. If sex becomes tiring, fatigue will bring a quick end to an otherwise great night.

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Depending on the age of the man, the reason why he is experiencing deficiencies in maintaining an erection will be due to a cause or another. Among young men, it is often due to psychological factors, either due to the size of the penis, past experiences, depression, undervaluation or other reasons, but can be summarized as: fear of sexually disappointing the couple.
Erectile dysfunction is no laughing matter. And although it is not an easy thing to talk about, there are trained professionals who can give you good advice about what may be the cause of your current predicament. Many men like to talk about sex, but like women, they may find it harder to talk about sex when it is not going well. You won’t be judged or talked about at BPAS. We are here to help you with some of the more private things in life.
"On the physical side of things, we most prominently have physical fitness as the No. 1 factor in erection achievement and sustainability," he continues "If a body isn't healthy, it's going to labor to send blood flowing properly and to function in many respects. Much like a car in need of a tune-up, a body which is out of shape or overweight is going to labor to perform functions — like causing an erection."

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Achieving an erection is a complex process involving the brain, hormones, nerves, muscles and blood circulation. If something interferes with this process, the result may be erectile dysfunction. In some cases, erectile dysfunction is the first sign of other serious underlying health conditions, such as cardiovascular problems, that need treatment because erectile dysfunction can share the same risk factors for heart attacks and strokes.


Both James and Michael fit the profile of millennial ED: healthy men with functional penises who experience occasional deflation for psychological reasons rather than mechanical issues (the latter of which typically plagues older men). Researchers and the medical community are aware of this specific problem facing younger men, says Landon Trost, MD, a urologist at the Mayo Clinic.


Regular exercise for about 20 to 30 minutes a day may act as a libido enhancer and certainly will improve your overall health. "Exercising improves blood flow to all areas of your body and that includes the pelvic region where the blood vessels needed for sexual functioning are located," says Feloney. Some other ways that regular exercise can improve your sexual performance include building up your stamina, lowering your blood pressure, relieving stress, and helping you look and feel better.


Some men have had success by using natural supplements to improve their erections. "There are also natural remedies that can be used to improve erectile dysfunction," says Dr. Axe. "This includes herbs such as ginseng, horny goat weed, maca root and ginkgo biloba. You can also try supplementing with L-arginine, DHEA and niacin. If you choose to try natural products to maintain a strong erection, it's still a good idea to discuss this with your doctor, especially if you are also taking medications."
So not only are erectile problems common, they're nothing for you or your special friend to be freaked out about. Check out the nine most common reasons that dudes sometimes can't get it up, and get ready to become the soothing voice of reason the next time the guy you're with has a hard time pitching his tent in your happy valley. Everything (and every penis) is gonna be fine!

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