Don’t panic. That will only make it worse. Erectile dysfunction is common. In younger age groups it is more likely to be a psychogenic issue around performance anxiety (don’t seek to be like a porn star is a top tip). In men between the ages of 40 and 70, it is estimated that 50 per cent will have some degree of erectile dysfunction. In this age group, there may be a more of a physical issue around blood flow. In either case, consult your doctor and they will be able to give you some more advice. An erectile litmus test is, if you are getting nighttime or early morning erections, it is likely a psychological not a physical vascular issue.

What is the main cause of erectile dysfunction?


For more information, check out the related Q&As. And while you're determining the cause of your partner's ED, you can still be intimate with activities other than intercourse that you both enjoy. As an exercise, you can try focusing on non-genital sensations, such as kissing and cuddling. You can also pleasure by caressing, touching, and stroking one another, having oral sex, or incorporating sex toys into your sex play. What non-intercourse intimacies do you enjoy? What about your partner? Have you discussed all the things you like that don't require an erection? Enjoying each other's company might give you both the emotional support and physical intimacy you need to help maintain a spark and eventually get the fire going again. Good luck,
Erectile dysfunction, often referred to as ED, is characterized by a persistent and recurring inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. Psychological, physical and lifestyle issues can all cause ED, as can trauma to nerves and arteries. The incidence of erectile dysfunction increases with age, but young men can also experience it.
The answers to these questions, as well as physiological tests like an ultrasound or neurological assessment, can help determine the root cause of ED. Depending on the cause, different treatment options are available. Treatments range from medication, to hormone replacement therapy, to vascular surgery, to sex therapy and/or couples counseling. It sounds like you have ruled out many physical factors, in which case it may be useful to consider psychological factors. Often, couples counseling and/or sex therapy (as a couple or individual) can identify factors related to ED, help with communication, and improve sex for both partners. For a sex therapist, check out the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) web site and click on the "Locate a Professional" link.
What young men should not do is take an ED drug like Viagra without a prescription, or mix them with other drugs. “This is a huge problem and not a safe practice,” says Penny Kaye Jensen, PhD, president of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners. “Some young men are mixing ED drugs with mind-altering drugs, such as ecstasy or crystal methamphetamine. This is on the rise and is a potentially deadly combination.”

"Research shows that most erectile issues are a secondary cause to something psychological happening," he says. "This is when it's important to find a sex therapist. A lot of sex therapy begins with myth busting. We have a lot of myths about the meaning that comes from erectile issues. Most of those myths are simply untrue. Recognizing these myths can often decrease a lot of anxiety."
Sit down with your partner and talk honestly about your sex together. Is it good? Do you both like it? This is important, because feeling discontent can cause you to lose an erection frequently. So open up. Maybe one or both of you isn’t enjoying the sex anymore. You can definitely improve the quality of sex that you have, but it’s start with honesty. Frequency, intensity, and a number of other things from scents to bad breath can dramatically impact sex.
Like going bald, ED becomes more common as men age. According to the National Institutes of Health, about 5% of all 40-year-old men have ED and that number rises with age. Between 15% and 25% of 65-year-old men have ED. This is one of the reasons you see so many ED drug commercials during televised sporting events, Fox News programs, and other shows that typically attract men over 50 (just kidding, Fox).
Be intimate in new ways. If your sex is focused just on penetration and climax, you may feel under more pressure to quickly get and maintain an erection, which can make this harder to do. Try to find new and more varied ways to be intimate with your partner that are not just about sprinting to the finish line. Take time with each other, such as taking a bath or shower together or massaging each other.[9]

What foods help you get hard?


The reversal of an erection is obviously necessary, but as Dr. Michael Reitano, physician in residence at Roman explains, this can be the impetus for weaker erections. "Usually there is a balance between the chemicals that result in the increased blood flow that results in a firm erection and the chemicals that allow blood to exit the penis and return it to being soft," he says. "That balance is precise and occurs in a sequence that allows an erection to last only as long as needed. However, in someone who experiences a softer erection, the balance of the chemicals that make the penis hard and the chemicals that return it to being soft is off. The scale is tilted."
Depending on the age of the man, the reason why he is experiencing deficiencies in maintaining an erection will be due to a cause or another. Among young men, it is often due to psychological factors, either due to the size of the penis, past experiences, depression, undervaluation or other reasons, but can be summarized as: fear of sexually disappointing the couple.
"Start by cutting out junk, processed and packaged foods. Instead, focus on eating high fiber foods, like fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds, and foods that will help to improve blood flow, such as leafy green vegetables. It's also helpful to avoid drinking too much caffeine and alcohol. Next, make sure you are getting regular exercise. This will help you to balance your hormone levels, improve circulation and manage stress."
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About 5 percent of men that are 40 years old have complete erectile dysfunction, and that number increases to about 15 percent of men at age 70. Mild and moderate erectile dysfunction affects approximately 10 percent of men per decade of life (i.e., 50 percent of men in their 50s, 60 percent of men in their 60s). Erectile dysfunction can occur at any age, but it is more common in men that are older. Older men are more likely to have health conditions that require medication, which can interfere with erectile function. Additionally, as men age, they may need more stimulation to get an erection and more time between erections.
Ask about transurethral pharmacotherapy. Your doctor may suggest you try this treatment, which involves placing a suppository into the urethra. The suppository contains alprostadil, which is then absorbed into the blood stream, relaxing blood vessels and improving blood flow into the penis. This treatment is thought to be less effective than the vacuum devices, or injection therapy.[16]
It can be difficult and frustrating for men and their partners to cope with erectile dysfunction, especially when the cause is unclear. At this point, it is important to be supportive and understanding of the situation and of one another. Erectile difficulties can cause feelings of inadequacy in both men and their partners. Each may internalize the situation, fearing that s/he is the one to blame. Therefore, open and honest communication with one another is an essential ingredient in strengthening your relationship as you work through this situation together.
If the problem is physiological, that is, if a man cannot maintain an erection due to illness, it is best to go to the doctor or specialist and treat the problem accordingly. Sometimes treating this problem with medication is enough to solve the problem; other times, however, a doctor might recommend the use of Viagra in order to achieve full erection.
A dating death sentence: How men perceive their ED issues also changes with age. With older men, "they've had a life of good erections to look back on," Rose Hartzell, Ph.D., EdS, an AASECT-certified sex therapist with San Diego Sexual Medicine, told Mic. But with some younger men who haven't had much opportunity to be sexually active, "they might feel cheated" out of having a good sex life.
Natural treatments: Although natural remedies are increasingly available for sale over the counter, there is little scientific evidence to support their claims of improving ED. These remedies may produce adverse side effects or react negatively with other medications a man is taking. Before trying any over-the-counter treatments, it is essential to consult a doctor.

Don’t approach sex like a race. If you struggle with losing your erection quickly, you might be used to speeding things up. That’s counterproductive, though. Work on slowing things down and don’t be afraid of what happens in your body. By slowing down, you’re retraining your body to expect something different from sex. Right now, your body probably expects to climax in a very short period of time. If that’s not what you want, you have to train your body to take a little longer.

How many times can a woman come in a row?


If the problem is physical, there are numerous treatments available, such as penile injections or penile revascularization surgery, which increases blood flow to the cavernosal artery of the penis. There are also medications like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, but Lehmiller cautioned men with erectile difficulties not to self-medicate without seeing a doctor beforehand due to the potential negative side effects associated with such medications (such as chest pain or shortness of breath).
“With the success of Viagra-type drugs, there has been a tendency to start all patients with ED on one of these drugs and not look much further for a medical cause. But we now know that ED may be an early warning for heart and blood vessel disease, so it is important to look for common risk factors. These include high blood pressure, diabetes, medications, smoking, drinking, and drugs,” said Dr. Wang.
If this scenario sounds familiar, you're in good company. "In an ideal world, strong erections would come simply and naturally," says Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics. "However, due to a myriad of reasons, erectile dysfunction can set it at any given time or for a prolonged period of time for a large part of the male population. It is estimated that as many as 30 million men in the United States alone suffer from ED."
To avoid such conflicts, Hartzell said she usually meets with both the ED patient and their partner, to emphasize that "it's not his problem, it's their problem," which means they both need to be part of the solution. She says this can be a "mind trip" for those who view erections as the sole measure of a partner's desire for them, as Francis' partner clearly did.
If this scenario sounds familiar, you're in good company. "In an ideal world, strong erections would come simply and naturally," says Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics. "However, due to a myriad of reasons, erectile dysfunction can set it at any given time or for a prolonged period of time for a large part of the male population. It is estimated that as many as 30 million men in the United States alone suffer from ED."

It’s important not to take a bout of psychological ED personally. Still, when confronting a suddenly soft penis in the moment, “It’s not you” can be hard to believe. For instance, Erin, 22, tried—really tried—to make sex with Drew* happen. The first time his erection died right before they were about to have sex, she improvised and gave him “really long” oral instead. But the lack of a boner was confusing. “That had never happened to me with a sexual partner, so I was like, ‘Okay, he’s just not into me,’” Erin recalls.


"We used to think that ED in young men was 90 percent psychological, but we now know that most cases are caused by a combination of risk factors. Erectile function depends on hormones, blood supply, nerve function, and psychological health,” said Run Wang, MD, professor of urology at The University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston and director of sexual medicine at MD Anderson Cancer Center.
"Start by cutting out junk, processed and packaged foods. Instead, focus on eating high fiber foods, like fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds, and foods that will help to improve blood flow, such as leafy green vegetables. It's also helpful to avoid drinking too much caffeine and alcohol. Next, make sure you are getting regular exercise. This will help you to balance your hormone levels, improve circulation and manage stress."
Some men have had success by using natural supplements to improve their erections. "There are also natural remedies that can be used to improve erectile dysfunction," says Dr. Axe. "This includes herbs such as ginseng, horny goat weed, maca root and ginkgo biloba. You can also try supplementing with L-arginine, DHEA and niacin. If you choose to try natural products to maintain a strong erection, it's still a good idea to discuss this with your doctor, especially if you are also taking medications."
Now, it may be that all you need to do is tackle some of the issues outlined in these key tools. However, yes, that advice may also come in the form of a small magic blue pill. Sildenafil (Viagra) is a phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor, designed to promote blood flow to your penis and achieve a sustainable erection. It can sometimes be a short-term option to help you "get back on the horse" or a longer-term method (if there is an irreversible dysfunction) to help you enjoy a healthy intimate relationship.
You should speak with a doctor before trying any medication that's meant to help with stronger erections. If you're looking to go that route, there are plenty of prescription drug options that have been engineered to help with this issue. "In terms of conventional treatment for erectile dysfunction, medications called PDE5-inhibitors are commonly prescribed," says Dr Axe. "Four PDE5-inhibitors that have been approved for use in the United States include sildenafil, tadalafil, vardenafil and avanafil."

If the problem is physiological, that is, if a man cannot maintain an erection due to illness, it is best to go to the doctor or specialist and treat the problem accordingly. Sometimes treating this problem with medication is enough to solve the problem; other times, however, a doctor might recommend the use of Viagra in order to achieve full erection.
Like going bald, ED becomes more common as men age. According to the National Institutes of Health, about 5% of all 40-year-old men have ED and that number rises with age. Between 15% and 25% of 65-year-old men have ED. This is one of the reasons you see so many ED drug commercials during televised sporting events, Fox News programs, and other shows that typically attract men over 50 (just kidding, Fox).

Does garlic help sexually?

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