It’s important not to take a bout of psychological ED personally. Still, when confronting a suddenly soft penis in the moment, “It’s not you” can be hard to believe. For instance, Erin, 22, tried—really tried—to make sex with Drew* happen. The first time his erection died right before they were about to have sex, she improvised and gave him “really long” oral instead. But the lack of a boner was confusing. “That had never happened to me with a sexual partner, so I was like, ‘Okay, he’s just not into me,’” Erin recalls.
keep erection firm
As it turns out, there are actually tons of things that can keep guys from getting an erection that have nothing to do with you (also, all that stuff you learned in middle school about how all guys are hump-crazed sex lunatics might have been slightly off). Between 20 and 30 million American men experience recurring erection difficulties, and almost all men have, at one time or another, had their top ramen refuse to boil. And while erectile issues are often seen as an older man's problem, in reality, one quarter of men seeking medical treatment for erectile difficulties are under 40.
Try to think of love-making as fun, not a trial. Laugh more, be more playful, and try to create opportunities for being together in situations that would be enjoyable for you both, even if sex does not occur. Most importantly, explore non-penetrative styles of eroticism. These things will help increase your sexual comfort and confidence, and reduce the pressure you currently feel to be an on-demand sex machine. You are merely human.
If you’re a guy over 40, there’s a fifty-fifty chance that you have a problem getting or keeping an erection. Now, I don’t mean the sort of erection you saw in American Pie! I mean an erection that’s firm enough and long-lasting enough for sexual satisfaction. Every guy has times when he just can’t manage an erection. Still, if you’re having trouble achieving a satisfying erection more than 50% of the time, you’ve got erectile dysfunction (ED).
If you think you have erectile dysfunction, or ED, you’re bound to have questions for your doctor about what’s happening and how to fix it. Lots of men have been there. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor and ask him any and all questions you might have that can start you on the road to getting a solution. Here are the first six questions you should definitely ask:
While physical anatomy and chemical reaction are both important for getting and keeping an erection, the brain is one of the most vital parts of this puzzle. "An erection is controlled by multiple areas of your brain, including the hypothalamus, limbic system and cerebral cortex," notes Axe. "Stimulatory messages are sent to your spinal erection centers and this facilitates an erection. When there's an issue with your brain's ability to send these important messages, it can increase the smooth muscle tone in your penis and prevent the relaxation that is necessary to get an erection."
You may be unsurprised to learn that little has changed over the years when it comes to erections. In fact, this is probably only matched the pursuit of erectile greatness (judging by the growing column inches on the subject). But there too is a new kid on the sexual performance block: the volume of your semen – likely born out of the explosion of easily accessible online pornography and its warped portrayal of “what’s normal” in sex. Divided into two parts (one: your erection; two: your semen), here’s what you need to know about these two bedfellows...
Watch whatever you eat: poor diet is also the reason for weak erections. As per the research, specific eating patterns cause heart attacks due to the restricted blood flow in coronary arteries which impede blood flow to the penis. Blood flow is also required for the penis to make it erect. Some of the diets also include vegetables and fruits that have fried, fatty and even processed foods that contributed to decreasing the blood circulation throughout the whole body. Anything which is terrible for man’s heart is also wrong for his penis and gaining an erection. One can learn how to keep an erection
The strength and frequency of your erection are an important indicator of your overall health. The blood vessels in the penis are smaller than arteries and veins in other parts of your body, so any problems like blockages, blood vessel dilation issues, or hormone imbalances will often show up as erectile dysfunction (or less firm erections) before something more serious like a heart attack or stroke.
If your erections are really strong, fantastic. Regular erections—including daily morning erections—are an important measure of a man’s health. If you get strong, frequent erections, that’s great! There’s no need to be concerned about being “too hard” as your body only has so much blood to offer. However, an erection that lasts too long (generally more than two hours) can be dangerous as priapism (erections lasting longer than 2 hours) can cause tissue damage. If you’ve had an erection lasting longer than four hours contact a doctor or emergency care immediately.
For starters, while past studies have estimated that ED affects somewhere between 1 and 10 percent of men under 40, our survey revealed that 80 percent of guys who responded have had an issue getting it up at least once. Here, we get to the bottom of what’s killing their boners and help you handle the moment if and (more likely) when it happens to you.
Erectile dysfunction is about more than just the ability to get an erection (although that’s certainly a big part of it). It’s also about how hard your erections normally get, and if you can get an erection that’s hard enough and lasts long enough to have “satisfactory” sex. ED is really about how you (and your partner) feel about your sex life. And a lot of that has to do with how firm your erections get.
Remember those cultural messages we discussed earlier, about how men are wild sex aliens from the planet Weenus? Well, men are raised hearing those messages, too, and they can end up screwing with their sexual self-image —for instance, they can lead men to obsess over their own virility, and panic about impressing a new partner, until they've thought their boner into a corner and can't get an erection. Performance anxiety is one of the most common culprits behind lost erections, especially among younger, less experienced men.
How can I improve my erectile dysfunction?
Now, it may be that all you need to do is tackle some of the issues outlined in these key tools. However, yes, that advice may also come in the form of a small magic blue pill. Sildenafil (Viagra) is a phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor, designed to promote blood flow to your penis and achieve a sustainable erection. It can sometimes be a short-term option to help you "get back on the horse" or a longer-term method (if there is an irreversible dysfunction) to help you enjoy a healthy intimate relationship.
Having erection trouble from time to time isn't necessarily a cause for concern. If erectile dysfunction is an ongoing issue, however, it can cause stress, affect your self-confidence and contribute to relationship problems. Problems getting or keeping an erection can also be a sign of an underlying health condition that needs treatment and a risk factor for heart disease.
Something James, 26, knows for sure about his penis is that it won’t get hard when he’s sleeping with a woman for the first time. No, it has nothing to do with how attracted he is to her. It’s just a classic case of performance anxiety, caused by his personal fears about how awkward and uncomfortable the experience could be—which, of course, turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy.