Be intimate in new ways. If your sex is focused just on penetration and climax, you may feel under more pressure to quickly get and maintain an erection, which can make this harder to do. Try to find new and more varied ways to be intimate with your partner that are not just about sprinting to the finish line. Take time with each other, such as taking a bath or shower together or massaging each other.[9]
From a medical perspective, your semen packs a pretty incredible punch. Within the 2 to 5ml of semen (AKA your ejaculate) that you yield every time you ejaculate, there contains around 20 million spermatozoa (your moving sperm), each roughly 50 millionths of a metre long. If you can’t picture this, just think back to your childhood when you stared at the tadpoles in your garden pond. That’s about the gist of it – except much, much smaller. Of course, your spermatozoa are not alone in your semen, having for company complex enzymes and fructose sugars that help your swimmers, well, swim and survive for longer.
While physical anatomy and chemical reaction are both important for getting and keeping an erection, the brain is one of the most vital parts of this puzzle. "An erection is controlled by multiple areas of your brain, including the hypothalamus, limbic system and cerebral cortex," notes Axe. "Stimulatory messages are sent to your spinal erection centers and this facilitates an erection. When there's an issue with your brain's ability to send these important messages, it can increase the smooth muscle tone in your penis and prevent the relaxation that is necessary to get an erection."
Studies show that high cholesterol and obesity are linked to erectile dysfunction, and both can be improved through diet. "A heart-healthy diet that prevents cardiovascular disease and maintains a healthy weight is also good for erectile functioning," says Feloney. An ideal diet plan involves eating foods low in saturated fat and cholesterol and having frequent servings of fruits, vegetables, and plenty of whole grains.
Regular exercise and a diet rich in antioxidants is also the foundation of permanent weight control and diabetes prevention. Studies at the Duke University Diet and Fitness Center show that weight loss is strongly associated with better sexual function. Other studies show that diabetes is a major risk factor for ED, and that a healthy lifestyle prevents the disease and can restore erection function.

Remember those cultural messages we discussed earlier, about how men are wild sex aliens from the planet Weenus? Well, men are raised hearing those messages, too, and they can end up screwing with their sexual self-image —for instance, they can lead men to obsess over their own virility, and panic about impressing a new partner, until they've thought their boner into a corner and can't get an erection. Performance anxiety is one of the most common culprits behind lost erections, especially among younger, less experienced men.

How can I improve my erectile dysfunction?


Depression, anxiety, stress, insecurity, conflicted emotions, missing the last quarter of the basketball game, all can have an effect. If your man is a healthy dude, then his brain could be cockblocking your giving of "brains." As a man, it is a very defeating feeling and not something you just talk out with your penis. He has got to remain cool. If it happens, the faster he pushes it out of his brain the faster his subconscious will kick in his arousal. Try something like this: grab a glass of water, take a pee break and then just hang in bed together. Share laughs, talk about other things and let your companionship do the work. The less he is engaging his inner dialogue and the more he is engaging you, the faster his inner workings will settle and his libido will be back in action. That is, of course, if he really does want it to happen.
It’s important not to take a bout of psychological ED personally. Still, when confronting a suddenly soft penis in the moment, “It’s not you” can be hard to believe. For instance, Erin, 22, tried—really tried—to make sex with Drew* happen. The first time his erection died right before they were about to have sex, she improvised and gave him “really long” oral instead. But the lack of a boner was confusing. “That had never happened to me with a sexual partner, so I was like, ‘Okay, he’s just not into me,’” Erin recalls.

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