Be intimate in new ways. If your sex is focused just on penetration and climax, you may feel under more pressure to quickly get and maintain an erection, which can make this harder to do. Try to find new and more varied ways to be intimate with your partner that are not just about sprinting to the finish line. Take time with each other, such as taking a bath or shower together or massaging each other.
My husband is suffering from erectile dysfunction. He has been to many doctors, including a urologist, neurologist, orthopedist, you name it. After many diagnostic tests, it seems that nothing physical can be found. He used to have full erections almost daily. Now nothing. Although he can get hard, he cannot maintain enough for intercourse. What can we do at this point?
Fortunately, the harm free radicals cause can be prevented with antioxidant nutrients, notably vitamins A, C, and E, and the minerals, selenium and zinc. Antioxidant supplements can help, but nutritionists and public health officials agree that the best way to get antioxidants is from foods rich in them: fruits, vegetables, beans, and whole grains. That's why health officials urge at least five servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Many studies show that as fruit and vegetable consumption increases, risk of heart disease and every major cancer decreases. There have been no big studies of dietary antioxidants and sexual satisfaction, but the link is biologically irrefutable. As antioxidant intake increases, so does blood healthy flow around the body, including into the penis. If you smoke, quit. And eat at least five daily servings of fruits and vegetables—fruit with breakfast, a salad and/or vegetable at lunch and dinner, and snack on fruit.
Instead, bench any P-in-V action for a beat and lower the stakes by telling him you want to fool around—not as a precursor to penetrative sex but just for the fun of it, suggests Natalie Finegood Goldberg, a sex therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in erectile dysfunction therapy. If this is a hookup situation, make it clear to him that you don’t expect or need him to have an erect penis for the two of you to have a good time, Goldberg says. You can always have oral sex, make out, or do some manual stimulation—because the worst thing you can do is freeze him out.
Some men have had success by using natural supplements to improve their erections. "There are also natural remedies that can be used to improve erectile dysfunction," says Dr. Axe. "This includes herbs such as ginseng, horny goat weed, maca root and ginkgo biloba. You can also try supplementing with L-arginine, DHEA and niacin. If you choose to try natural products to maintain a strong erection, it's still a good idea to discuss this with your doctor, especially if you are also taking medications."
"Surprisingly, up until the 1980's, most sex experts held the Freudian view that weak erections were caused by deep-seated, unconscious neuroses or psychological problems," she explains. "This view has now widely been rejected by professionals in the field of sexuality and it's now understood that erection problems that stem from deep psychological problems are the exception, not the rule. A majority of weak erections are caused by a combination of sexual misinformation, relationship problems, depression and other life stresses."
There are many factors that can lead to ED. “Psychological causes of erectile dysfunction in young men can include performance anxiety, guilt about sex in general, guilt about having sex with a particular partner, feelings of anger or resentment towards a partner, or simply finding a partner undesirable,” said Carole Lieberman, MD, a psychiatrist on the clinical faculty of the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute in Los Angeles.
Performance anxiety: Perhaps the most common cause of erectile problems among younger guys is performance anxiety. Many cultures place pressure on men to be the "experts" when it comes to sex, which can make men feel like they have to be responsible for sex or know how to please their partner every time. This pressure can be stressful and make it more difficult to get or maintain an erection.
"Stress and anxiety can adversely affect sexual performance and are common causes of erectile dysfunction,” warns Feloney. “Feelings of stress and anxiety can also lead to depression and a loss of interest in sex." It's important to get these feelings out in the open where you can deal with them. Issues that can lead to erectile dysfunction include fear from previous bad experiences with sex, family or work related stress, poor communication with your partner, and unrealistic goals and expectations.