As it turns out, there are actually tons of things that can keep guys from getting an erection that have nothing to do with you (also, all that stuff you learned in middle school about how all guys are hump-crazed sex lunatics might have been slightly off). Between 20 and 30 million American men experience recurring erection difficulties, and almost all men have, at one time or another, had their top ramen refuse to boil. And while erectile issues are often seen as an older man's problem, in reality, one quarter of men seeking medical treatment for erectile difficulties are under 40.

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Did you know that a cock ring can help you maintain an erection? This O-shaped toy fits around your penis and helps keep blood in the shaft, where you want it. A cock ring also helps prevent venous leakage, a form of erectile dysfunction where blood flows to your penis, but has trouble staying there. (Giddy, a new cock-ring-like gadget designed to treat ED, may also help guys with venous leakage maintain stronger erections.)

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Remember that he is in his 40's, and that's a huge factor too. Around the age of 30, testosterone, androgen, and other hormone levels gradually begin to drop at about a rate of 1 percent. and as a direct result, by the time a man reaches 40, hormone drops cause loss of muscle mass and increased body fat. As a man reaches 45 these gradual hormone drops cause brain capacity and function to slowly regress. This, mixed with risks of genetic diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure, all take a toll on the body, especially the sex organs. Those who are physically active are at a huge advantage, as working out inhibits hormone levels, the neuromuscular system, and protein synthesis to maintain.
Even if your relationship isn't the source of it, depression can keep you from getting an erection. "Erectile dysfunction can affect someone with depression even when he is in a stable and loving relationship," says Dr. Reitano. "Unfortunately, the drugs used to treat depression can cause erectile dysfunction, as well. The good news is that erectile dysfunction medications work whether the difficulty is from the depression itself or from the medications."

Another way to keep your libido up is to act when you do get aroused. This might mean going home at lunchtime to have sex with your spouse, or leaving a party early with your date if you’re both aroused. Staving off an arousal trains your body to disassociate arousal with erections. You want the opposite. You want to get and keep a strong erection when you feel aroused so that you can have better sex. So this is a great excuse to tend to your sexual needs as they come, if you can.
Regardless of the reason, men spend a lot more time on their butts than they ever have before, shows data from the CDC. And all that sitting hurts your heart and your waistline, which saps your vigor below your belt, Dr. Köhler explains. You need a good 30 to 45 minutes of vigorous exercise at least 5 days a week to counteract all your chair time, experts say.
Condoms: It may sound like an excuse to get out of wearing a condom, but many guys have problems maintaining an erection when putting one on. The interruption of sex play is often distracting, as is the stress of putting on a condom. Other times, deeper concerns, like guilt or performance anxiety, manage to seep into a guy's consciousness when there's a pause in sexual activity.
Alcohol: A couple of drinks can loosen your inhibitions and help you relax. But alcohol can also impair sexual functioning. Alcohol works on the nervous system by slowing down brain function, breathing, and pulse. Initially, the effect is often psychologically stimulating, since emotions and desires flow more freely. However, while alcohol may boost sexual desire by helping a person to relax, it can decrease performance, especially where erections are concerned. For this reason, it's best for guys to limit their alcohol intake to one to two drinks (or none at all) for optimal sexual function.

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There can be both an indirect and direct way to achieve this. The reflex erection is the direct way, achieved by touching your penis to trigger the nerves in the lower part of your spinal cord and your peripheral nervous system. The psychogenic erection is the indirect way, via non-mechanical sexual stimulation (visual, for example) and sexual arousal. This activates the limbic system in your brain, sending electrical signals down to your erectile nerve centres via the lower regions of your spinal cord. The latter is why you can get both nocturnal or "morning glory" erections, rather non-erotically referred to as nocturnal penile tumescence. How romantic.
Remember those cultural messages we discussed earlier, about how men are wild sex aliens from the planet Weenus? Well, men are raised hearing those messages, too, and they can end up screwing with their sexual self-image —for instance, they can lead men to obsess over their own virility, and panic about impressing a new partner, until they've thought their boner into a corner and can't get an erection. Performance anxiety is one of the most common culprits behind lost erections, especially among younger, less experienced men.

Achieving an erection is a complex process involving the brain, hormones, nerves, muscles and blood circulation. If something interferes with this process, the result may be erectile dysfunction. In some cases, erectile dysfunction is the first sign of other serious underlying health conditions, such as cardiovascular problems, that need treatment because erectile dysfunction can share the same risk factors for heart attacks and strokes.
Don’t panic. That will only make it worse. Erectile dysfunction is common. In younger age groups it is more likely to be a psychogenic issue around performance anxiety (don’t seek to be like a porn star is a top tip). In men between the ages of 40 and 70, it is estimated that 50 per cent will have some degree of erectile dysfunction. In this age group, there may be a more of a physical issue around blood flow. In either case, consult your doctor and they will be able to give you some more advice. An erectile litmus test is, if you are getting nighttime or early morning erections, it is likely a psychological not a physical vascular issue.
The first tip for how to keep an erection longer is a simple one. Exercise the penis with kegels. According to sex and relationships expert, Jordan Gray, kegel exercises strengthen your genitals and improve your sex life. Kegel exercise involves “flexing and holding the muscles that stop the flow of urine.” The penis is made up of a ton of muscle. It’s important to keep that muscle tissue strong, healthy, and reactive. Kegels are popular with men and women. If you’re struggling with keeping an erection for a length of time, the reason could be weak muscle tissue.
"I like to recommend that couples think outside the box," Dr. Hartzell said. "Intercourse doesn't always have to be the goal; look at sex as pleasure oriented vs. goal oriented." She suggested couples incorporating oral sex and manual stimulation into their bedroom routine. She also advised couples to "have fun" with their sex lives by not adhering to a specific schedule or routine: One woman she works with, for instance, leaves her partner's injection on her pillow as a subtle signal that she's in the mood to have sex.
Obesity. Obesity itself is not a risk factor for ED — but there is a connection. “The bigger concern is that obesity can lead to type 2 diabetes or vascular diseases, which are risk factors for ED,” says Montague. Morbid obesity, a term used to classify individuals who are significantly overweight, can cause hormonal changes that are triggered by excess body fat. In addition, obesity can put physical limitations on sexual intercourse.
Evaluate surgical options. If the other treatments have not proven successful, your doctor may recommend a surgical procedure that will involve an inflatable penile prosthesis being implanted into your penis. Typically a pair of inflatable cylinders are inserted into the penis, which can be pumped up and deflated using a connected device that is inserted into the scrotal sac.

Stiffy Solution: The good news is, almost all of these conditions can be successfully treated if you catch them early on. And since erectile problems may be the first side effect your dude has experienced, seeking medical treatment for his erectile problems may be the thing to get him into a doctor's office. So if your dude is a well-rested, non-drinking, non-smoking, paragon of relaxation who suddenly can't get wood, urge him to talk to his doctor — his misbehaving penis may actually be communicating something way more important than "Not tonight, honey."


Try this: just reduce how much porn you consume in a week. If you want to take it a step further, watch it with your partner. Use it to inspire your sex life, not replace it. Keep in mind that fatigue plays a big role in your ability to keep an erection. Watching too much porn and subsequently masturbating to it could tire you out for actual sex with a partner later on. Balance is key.

The second tip is to breathe deeply, the whole time you’re having sex, but especially once you start to feel like you’re going to ejaculate or lose your erection for some reason. Deep breathing sends oxygen and energy to where it’s needed most, and it’s known for intensifying sex. What’s more important, though, is that it helps you get control over your body.
Alcohol is a depressant, not an aphrodisiac or a libido enhancer. Excessive consumption can interfere with the ability to achieve an erection at any age, and even occasional drinking can make erectile dysfunction worse in older men. Feloney advises using alcohol in moderation: "In small amounts, alcohol can relieve anxiety and may help with erectile dysfunction, but if you drink too much, it can cause erectile dysfunction or make the problem worse."
Depression, anxiety, stress, insecurity, conflicted emotions, missing the last quarter of the basketball game, all can have an effect. If your man is a healthy dude, then his brain could be cockblocking your giving of "brains." As a man, it is a very defeating feeling and not something you just talk out with your penis. He has got to remain cool. If it happens, the faster he pushes it out of his brain the faster his subconscious will kick in his arousal. Try something like this: grab a glass of water, take a pee break and then just hang in bed together. Share laughs, talk about other things and let your companionship do the work. The less he is engaging his inner dialogue and the more he is engaging you, the faster his inner workings will settle and his libido will be back in action. That is, of course, if he really does want it to happen.
The penis is the male sex organ, and the shaft of it is the longest part. The glans and head are located at the end of the shaft. The opening at the tip of the head when semen and urine come out is termed the meatus. Inside the shaft are two cylinder-shaped chambers called the corpora cavernosa and they run the length of the penis. They have blood vessels, maze, open pockets, tissue, and others.

How can I treat ED at home?


About 5 percent of men that are 40 years old have complete erectile dysfunction, and that number increases to about 15 percent of men at age 70. Mild and moderate erectile dysfunction affects approximately 10 percent of men per decade of life (i.e., 50 percent of men in their 50s, 60 percent of men in their 60s). Erectile dysfunction can occur at any age, but it is more common in men that are older. Older men are more likely to have health conditions that require medication, which can interfere with erectile function. Additionally, as men age, they may need more stimulation to get an erection and more time between erections.
Achieving an erection is a complex process involving the brain, hormones, nerves, muscles and blood circulation. If something interferes with this process, the result may be erectile dysfunction. In some cases, erectile dysfunction is the first sign of other serious underlying health conditions, such as cardiovascular problems, that need treatment because erectile dysfunction can share the same risk factors for heart attacks and strokes.
The National Institutes of Health estimates that erectile dysfunction strikes as many as 30 million men in the United States. Its prevalence does increase with age — 4 percent of men in their 50s are affected by ED, 17 percent in their 60s, and 47 percent of those over 75. But research has also found that 5 percent of those affected were between 20 and 39.

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"When it's persistent and consistent, it's extremely likely to have biological factors" regardless of age, Dr. Irwin Goldstein, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego and the director of San Diego Sexual Medicine, told Mic. But the cause of ED can also be psychological: For instance, if a man can get an erection on his own but not with a partner, then his ED is more likely to be rooted in performance anxiety or a deeper psychological issue. 

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It’s important not to take a bout of psychological ED personally. Still, when confronting a suddenly soft penis in the moment, “It’s not you” can be hard to believe. For instance, Erin, 22, tried—really tried—to make sex with Drew* happen. The first time his erection died right before they were about to have sex, she improvised and gave him “really long” oral instead. But the lack of a boner was confusing. “That had never happened to me with a sexual partner, so I was like, ‘Okay, he’s just not into me,’” Erin recalls.

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